I was never thin and my weight never fell within any healthy guidelines. In 6th grade, I weighed 150 pounds. It’s simple to say I was always the fat kid, an athletic fat kid, but still, the fat kid. Weight loss was going to be a lifelong battle. It didn’t take rocket science come up with this hypothesis.
After my first child was born, I didn’t lose the 70 pounds I’d gained during the nine months of binge eating.
And somewhere over the next decade I piled on an additional 30 – 40 pounds, topping out at over 300 pounds by 2007.
I hated my weight. I hated it. But I felt like I had no hope, the amount I had to lose too great to even take the first step.
My world was rocked when my father passed away. It wasn’t a surprise, he’d fought a long battle with cancer. What affected me beyond comprehension was that he passed away with so many regrets. There were things he’d wanted to do, wanted to see, and wanted to experience but hadn’t. And for most of these regrets, there was one reason. His weight. My father was very self-conscious about his size and refused to travel. He rarely went out. His life was watching movies and hiding in his house.
I didn’t want that for myself. I wanted to live life, to travel the world, and to experience life with my kids. Unfortunately I was over 300 pounds. The idea of losing 100+ pounds filled me with trepidation, so much so that I didn’t know what to do that I hadn’t already tried. I’d attempted Weight Watchers more times than I could count.
I wanted something drastic. I wanted swift results. I wanted change to happen immediately. So, I jumped through the hoops to have Lap Band surgery in 2007. I lost 60 pounds. The surgeon called it a success. I was still over 250 pounds. How was this a success? It didn’t matter, I’d lost a certain percentage and now I was a success statistic, even though I was still categorized as morbidly obese. Go figure.
Needless to say, I didn’t lose any more weight. I was at about 260 pounds for several years. Over the course of five years, I tried Weight Watchers yet again and I tried counting calories. Neither approach worked.
After years of settling, I wanted another quick fix. I somehow discovered Medifast. People dropped weight quick and I wanted that same success. I jumped in with both feet. I lost almost 50 pounds. It was fantastic. Then I burned out. I didn’t ease back into normal eating as Medifast suggests. I just quit. Right around this time I decided it was time to try to crank up my fitness. I joined crossfit. It was a short lived affair, I lasted barely two months. I was pretty sure those workouts were going to be the death of me. I was the slowest and the fattest. Great combination.
The next two years saw a gain of 40 of the 50 pounds. I was livid at myself. I hated myself. I was weak and that drove me crazy. My self esteem was non existent and and I mentally berated myself on a daily basis. For about six months, I’d seen this new program pop on my Facebook feed about losing 20 pounds in six weeks or you get your money back.
Now, I’ll be the first to admit, sometimes I’m a slow learner. I need to do things more than once to learn my lesson. So, the whole quick success thing, I wasn’t feeling it. I’d gone that route twice and in my book, both times, I’d failed. There was no reason another quick fix scheme was going to work. Yet, it kept popping up, and finally, one day in January, a Sunday morning – there was an orientation for this program. Somehow, my schedule was open, and on a whim, I decided to attend. After the presentation, as my husband predicted, I signed up. I paid $400 and I’d get it back in six weeks if I lost 20 pounds.
My experience during those six weeks is a whole separate post. But, the bottom line, I lost 23 pounds. I rolled over my money into another challenge, but was unable to lose another 20 pounds. I lost 13. In twelve weeks though, I’d created some new habits and they’d stuck.
Over the course of 1 year, I lost 70 pounds total. I finally saw the scale begin with a 1! It had been twenty years since I’d seen that marvel. I’d finally lost the weight by eating right and exercising regularly. I’d say the rest is history, but it’s not. It’s why I started this blog. Every day is a food challenge. Every day is an exercise challenge. I call myself a lazy fit person, and I am. But, most of the weight is finally off and many of my habits of changed.
