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I’m lucky to have made some great blogger friends and three of my friends have all written posts about Summer, so definitely take a look at their posts – ranging from gardening, to scrapbooking, to 4th of July cupcakes!
Summer
Summer is here and for many, this is a dreaded time of year. Bathing suits, tank tops, and shorts are all standard wear. There’s no hiding behind leggings and big sweaters anymore. Every year I wish I had more confidence in my body and who I was. I wish I knew how to improve my own summer body confidence. It’s definitely a work in progress.
My Story
This is one of the reasons I hate summer so much. For as much as I hate being cold, I hate feeling self-conscious even more, thus my disdain for summer. The reality is, I can’t hide the entire season, I live where it is very warm almost eight months out of the year. I have kids who LOVE to swim, so going to the beach is a requirement in life. To be honest, I LOVE to swim too, I love the water!
Learning to accept my flaws is an ongoing summer mental tutorial. I didn’t wear shorts for almost twenty years. Yes, twenty years! When we moved ten years ago to a hotter part of 
the state, those many 100+ degree days and I went toe to toe. I kept to my no tank tops and no shorts for a couple years, and then I got pregnant. There was no contest, being eight and nine months pregnant during August and September…I was so miserable that I finally gave in, and being comfortable became more important that caring how I looked.
After that summer, I wore shorts. Even when I was over 250 pounds, I didn’t care. Well, I did, but not walking around so miserable became more important.
Here’s my reality. The scale no longer starts with a 2, yet I still dread summer and wearing shorts. I have loose skin on my arms and my thighs. It’s still mental warfare to pull out summer clothes, but I do it. And this summer, I’ve even gone shopping and picked out a couple tank tops that I feel good wearing.
It seems like I am not alone in realizing that we’re never going to be totally satisfied with our bodies. The white lies we tell ourselves is crazy. If we just lose ten pounds, or tone up our thighs, then it won’t matter. If it’s not that, it’s likely to be something else.
Now, I’m not saying don’t take care of yourself, that’s not the point of my post. The point is that it’s summer, and whatever goals or achievements we didn’t accomplish, it’s okay. Let it go, and create new goals. While we’re working to accomplish them, embrace who you are and where you are.
Summer Self Confidence Tips
Get Rid of Perfection
Nothing and nobody is perfect. What you see in magazines and on TV is not real! There will always be room for improvement, ways we wish we looked better.
Buy the Right Clothes
Look, if you’re holding on to summer those shorts because you swore you’d fit into them by this upcoming season, and you didn’t make that goal, it’s okay! Invest in some clothes that fit your body. Pick a couple of key pieces that make you FEEL good.
Embrace the Sun
Put on some sun screen and soak up some Vitamin D. Sometimes a good dose of warm sun can do wonders for our mental well being.
Put away the Scale
Don’t let a number define you! Put on those clothes you bought, ignore what the scale says, hold your head high and carry on being the best you this summer.
Buy that Bathing Suit
Who says you need a bikini? Heck no, that’s not going to fly over here. I’m not comfortable in one, so I’m not going to where it. Now, I don’t mind a two piece with a longer fitting shirt that covers my torso. If you’re still uncomfortable in a one piece, look for a cute cover up – there are so many out there these days, options are abound. A FANTASTIC website for bathing suits is swimsuits for all is called Swimsuits For All (Affiliate Link). There are two things I love about this site – 1. They have ALL sizes. 2. I can order a two piece in two different sizes – meaning my top can be in one size, the bottoms in a different size and I don’t have to purchase 2 different bathing suits!
Find One Thing to Control
Sometimes when we feel like we are making positive progress towards change, we automatically start feeling better about ourselves! It’s interesting to see how this works. As we battle our own negative demons, knowing we are making progress is key.
Who are We Trying to Impress
Ask yourself this question and make sure you answer it honestly. Are you trying to impress someone specific? Or are you just not wanting people to notice you? In this day and age of internet bullying, it’s harder to ignore the catty online comments. We’ve all read a story or two about someone taking a sly picture of an unaware person and poking fun. Here’s the reality, do you really care what that person thinks? Do you have the energy to care? When I go to the beach, there are people of ALL sizes out, when I go to Disney World in the middle of summer, and it’s disgustingly hot – people of ALL sizes are wearing shorts and tank tops. It just doesn’t matter, it matters more to you than anyone else.
At the end of the day, we are our own worst enemy. Learning to love yourself can take years, but learning to be aware of the way you view yourself is the beginning of change. Summer is about vacations, get togethers, beach days and more. Don’t hide because you didn’t lose the weight you wanted, don’t retreat indoors when everyone is gathering outside. Embrace who you are, the changes you can make and the progress you have made, and keep pushing towards goals you have set. In the meantime, dress with confidence and enjoy the upcoming summer.
Don’t forget! Visit these three bloggers and check out their summer posts too:
Lorrie runs and incredible blog all about gardening. I love the tips I pick up from her at Stony Ridge Farm
Ramona is an amazing scrapper with fantastic kits! Check out her latest summer post at The Digi Scrapper.
Tiffany makes entertaining look easier, and her latest blog post is no exception. Check out her 4th of July cupcake idea at Lake Life State of Mind.
I’m so guilty of being my worse enemy. I’m currently on a diet and workout plan to gear up for a vacation I’m taking to the Bahamas. Everything you just mentioned not to do, I’m doing! I really needed this pep talk today. I’m going to continue with my current routine but I’m not going to kill myself if I don’t feel perfect at the end of it, because like you said, regardless of the outcome I won’t ever really feel “perfect”. I need to be happy with being healthy and active and nothing else!
I was pushing hard and then just got super overwhelmed. After a spiral, I’m trying to be at peace with where I am in my journey. I get it!
These are great tips, Stephanie, and the context is spot on. Summer is a time to be light and carefree, but too often my mood is dragged down by a less than positive body image. I really like spending extended time at the beach. Salt life is the best remedy to these tough feeling. It washes all the negative chatter away and allows me to just be, in my body.
Thank you. I do think this is a battle most women face and at the end of the day we are our own worst critic. Yet, we’re alive, and we’re all doing good things. I might not be totally comfortable, but I’m wearing shorts, and even a dress on this upcoming vacation!
I LOVE your tips! Such fabulous advice. I’m very guilty of hiding away, especially during the summer. As I prepare to go out of town this weekend and spend a few days in the hot sun in the Nevada desert and by my mom’s pool, I am going to remember this tips and do my best to let go and enjoy! Thank you!